The (Crazy) Quilters Last Will and Testament

This IS a joke, although I have told my husband that if anything ever happens to me, he should send my CQ stuff (including my featherweight sewing machine to Debbie... Where do you want YOUR CQ stash to go???

The Quilters Last Will & Testament*

I,Being of sound mind (a statement which does not bear close examination) ,____________ _________ _ do hereby record my last will and testament. Knowing
that ____________ ________, my ____________ _____ (husband, sister or friend) hasn't the least appreciation for, or for that matter, knowledge of my extensive fabric collection, which collection is suitably deposited in sundry places for safe keeping. Knowing also that ____________ _________ __ has already notified the local dumpster to pick up and dispose of the before-mentioned collection "willy-nilly" (the thought of which causes me a most severe case of hives). Therefore, I do will this collection and all other collections related to it, to my dear friend and fellow fabric preservationist, ____________ ________.

It is my wish that she/he, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear
proof that I did not manage, although goodness knows I tried, to take it with me, would come to my home post haste, before the dumpster, and search out my collection which is similarly stored at her own abode. That she should rescue said collection and stack it in my quilting studio, along with my sewing machines, frames, old buttons, lace, patterns, quilts, dolls and works in progress. After she/he has done this, she/he should purchase refreshments for my friends not yet departed, which friends are also her/his friends, and every last bone shall be in that room and they shall hold a wake and say lovely and kind things about me until they run out and then they shall divide amongst themselves, by lot, my wonderful collection. I shall be hovering over that very
spot until this is done. ____________ _________ shall then quit this spot and close the door, leaving trivialities to those who do not understand.

This is my wish on the matter.

Signed: ____________ _________ _____

Date: ____________ ________

Notarized: ____________ _________ ___

Date: ____________ _______

* This is not a legal document


  1. That is very funny! Thanks for sharing it.

    Congratulations on losing the weight! That is something to be excited about! Those steps are working. =)

  2. Someone wrote that with their tongue planted firmly in their cheek! Very funny!

  3. And vice versa, my dear friend!

  4. I love it! I think I will write one up for my family. I have already told them about my list of friends - maybe I should make it semi-official!